My Words

My Words – by Grâce Ndjako

Completely vulnerable, I had let myself be completely vulnerable.

I sensed it as I wrote it, realized it as I send it and regretted it when I didn’t get a response.

“Did he read it? What is he thinking? How does he feel? Is he freaking out?”

 

But nothing happened.

My heart bled, my heart felt.

I had let myself have feelings that went unanswered,

Wrote down words he apparently didn’t want or need to hear.

I went through an array of emotions,

After the pain came the pride and vain regret.

 

He had wounded my vanity.

I had wasted these words, I could never use them again.

I later realized that though addressed to him, they were never his

The words were and have always been mine.

My heart bled, my heart felt

I felt

 

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